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Lady Breeze(your majesty)
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| The Nicest Thing I've seen |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|12:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Nicest Thing by Kate Nash | ] |
All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something
I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three
I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|03:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Teagan and Sara: My Number | ] |
Things have been wonderful, and not so wonderful.
(When did I let things get so out of control?)
Haven't I, in the past, relished having my life in order, meticulously in order? Or am I imagining it to make myself feel better? Not that I don't feel fine, because I do in the long run. In the long run I feel fine. Today I feel like scum.
The definitions of scum, as provided by dictionary.com, are as follows:
1. a film or layer of foul or extraneous matter that forms on the surface of a liquid.
2. refuse or offscourings.
3. a low, worthless, or evil person.
4. such persons collectively; riffraff; dregs.
Choose your personal favorite, they all work in the end.
After a few intense minutes of internal debate I stepped outside and climbed a tree. I don't know what I thought I would find in said tree, but I know I didn't find it. I didn't find anything except for the intense cold and a wet butt. At least I can climb tree's I suppose.
It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down
Every day I find myself missing someone, everyone. But I can't bring myself to make the phone calls or facebook messages or whatever neccessary to allow all these people acccess to me again. Even sub consciously I shy away from thinking or dreaming of the afore mentioned people. I hardly think of them anymore, when at first I thought of them all the time. Now its almost as though they were never part of my life, let alone a large part. Is that wrong? It feels both wrong and right. Generally I don't think of this, but today I will allow it.
With as numb as I've been feeling lately, I've been letting some people get away with things I don't think I normally would. Or would I? I'm unsure. But where do I draw the line? Or attempt to draw the line. What's to much? I don't know. Hand holding has never been especially significant to me, but thats not the case with most people I know. And the rest of it? Well I just don't care anymore, but I wonder if I should. Where do I draw the line?
I think I shall go for a drive in the countryside. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|06:56 pm] |
I think, but I'm not sure.
I haven't been on the computer in months.
It feels a little empty.
I miss. |
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| A stirring world of eyes can’t fill unfixed glares |
[May. 6th, 2008|09:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Nine | ] |
It get's easier and easier. Easier and Easier.
I discovered new amazingness by the name of I Nine. Check them out.
...I’m wishing to be like the pictures
All my dreams are to be like we were ... |
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| Why did you mess with forever |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|08:20 pm] |
I came by to get my things
Thank you for getting the door
But I don't feel right walking in no more
You think it's cold, I did my crying at home
But I'm numb now, I'm numb now
Before I'm on my way
I've one more thing to ask
Was it worth the price you paid for my never coming back?
Why did you mess with forever?
Ooohh... what a long time to be unkind
Why did you mess with forever?
Don't you call me cruel
Cruel is what you're making me do
Stick to my rules
I'm at odds with me now
So stay don't go ahead and stay
Before I'm on my way
I've one more thing to ask
Was it worth the price you paid for my never coming back?
Why did you mess with forever?
Oooohhh... what a long time to be unkind
Why did you mess with forever?
You asked to kiss me once goodbye
But you already did
On somebody else's lips
Tell the tiny chemicals
The ones you hold responsible
They lost me, you lost me
Now everything inside me tells me I should run to you
And throw my arms around you
Hold your steaming crying cheek against my own
And tell you nothing's wrong
But wrong is what you were when you forgot
That we were going on
We were going on
We were going strong |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|07:39 pm] |
There's a lot I perpetually want to say, but when it comes down to it I either have no energy or just can't find the words.
The End.
{I'm good at saying that though :) } |
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| My Political Compass |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|11:15 am] |
Economic Left/Right: -4.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.97
And it wont show my graph. Basically I'm a little more of an anarchist than Ghandi, and a smidgen more of a lefty. |
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| ((Because I am in love |
[Nov. 8th, 2007|08:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Enamoured | ] |
"A Mistake"
I'm gonna make a mistake
I'm gonna do it on purpose
I'm gonna waste my time
'Cause I'm full as a tick
And I'm scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine
And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure
Had fun, so
I'm gonna f*** it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path
And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I'm no good at math
And when I find my way back,
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake
I wanna mistake why can't I make a mistake?
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why
Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to
Answer you, hell no
I've acquired quite a taste
For a wellmade mistake, I wanna
Make a mistake, why can't I make a mistake
I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why
With Fiona Apple)) |
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| Mistake |
[Oct. 27th, 2007|02:27 pm] |
|
an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc. |
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| College/ the lack thereof |
[Sep. 16th, 2007|10:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
Am I the only one who didnt know that a $40,000 dollar student loan paid back in 20 years is $112,000?
Ri-Diculous.
It's as though colleges dont want the 50% of students that are middle class to go to college. At least not anything but a J.C. Because the poor are the one's who qualify for the fafsa/grants/scholerships and the rich can afford it.
Of course these are generalizations I'm just pissed that because I want to go to school to become a doctor to save lives I'm going to be sitting on at least half a million dollars in debt. All to save lives. I'm better off going to the J.C to become.. oh I don't know. Something that doesn't require 8 years off college then 5 years of residency.
Fuck man. I should just be barrista.
Peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|08:28 pm] |
Prom committe anyone?
Next week.
P.S I want to have a party, anyone interested? |
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| Rawr |
[Aug. 21st, 2007|05:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
+ excited for the political studies project
- my group
+ Pre Cal only lasted about 45 minutes today
- I have to take Pre Cal
+ Chem with Lena and Jake tomorrow
- Not having my license
+ Andrew's birthday is Friday!
- Don't have his present yet
+ I don't have a first or second period
- I don't have a car
+ My birthday is coming up
- I'm allready semi stressing
+ I got to sleep in today
- Certain people are allready annoying me
- Lena and I haven't spoken for any length of time
- I'm slacking off at work and I feel bad
- There isn't really anyone to talk to
- The only one who understands me really about my complicated college feelings is a Junior.
- The amount of Juniors in Pre Cal
+ The amount of cute College boys (and by amount I mean it's amazing that there is more than one!.. There's like 6 college boys 4 of whom look cute. I think)
+/- Spending lunch working on my senior project because the stress of it was overwhelming me.
+ I really like Kaitlin/ Caitlyn, however you spell it. We share a birthday which is interesting. I don't want to share it but I can't think of a better person to share it with.
- I pretty much don't really like very many people currently. The list is short. Too short. Pollack is at the top. I love talking with her.
- My current friendships seem unstable, but I'm suprisingly O.K with that. I'm developing others, and I realize that it's true, 9 more months and we won't see each other again so its best to detatch ourselves while we have a chance.
- Oral Surgery next week.
Ta Ta for now. |
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| I was the drunk one and he was the seduced one. |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|01:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
In the words of Molly, the heatcrazies.
I have a pretty bad case of the heat crazies, and they've been making me do things. Well that and the fact that I have no self control...
Wonder where this is going to lead?
(nowhere good? A mistake? Fabulouso? Gonna go nowhere? It's allready died? I don't know.) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2007|11:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
Apparently there is a 75% chance that my family (including Christian and Ashley) are moving in the next few months. I'm really upset and theres no one to talk to. And yes by move, I do mean out of Napa.
I was the last to be told, and Aubrey's been crying almost non stop for the past forty-eight hours. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2007|10:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Princess Superstar | ] |
"Perfect"
1234 let me hear u scream if u want some more
like uhhh
PUSH IT PUSH IT
watch me work it -
I'm perfect
Yeah that's right it's the Superstar
everybody wanna come up when I'm at the bar
all them people wanna try its like gimme some more
try a little harder honey I'm like gimme my car
skip the bra
chill at the spas
feminine boss
don't care what it cost
get lost we gettin rocks
while bitches Botox I blow cocks
so hot
we just wreckin the party
autographin everybody body parts with the sharpie
cant stop me baby got an army
be all that you can be baby
call me
1234 let me hear u scream if u want some more
like uhhh
PUSH IT PUSH IT
watch me work it -
I'm perfect
I'm comin straight out the nyc
every little bad boy's wet dream featurin me
cream get the money dollar dollar bill ya'll kill ya'll got the ill jaw
exes still call
you know I gotta do whatever it takes
all them other chicks its like that's the breaks
and all them other chicks wanna take my place and all them
other chicks better get out my face
the look the lips the tits the taste
the hair the eye the skin the waist
you see what i can do on a microphone
so think bout what I'm gonna do to you at home
get goin with the
mastercard max it hard
in the backs of cars
faxin lawyers
racks and racks at stores
I'm just/ about/ me gettin more
1234 let me hear u scream if u want some more
like uhhh
PUSH IT PUSH IT
watch me work it /
I'm perfect
hey I dont mean to brag
but i'm makin ladies mad
when they look at what i have
all the shit in the bag
runnin things like a track
no practice
got you starvin for me like a Hollywood actress
so attractive wear my dresses backless
flippin lots of heavy words like a mattress
make money during napses leg hair waxes… use hundred dollar bills
got a million pairs of underwear
millionaire times my strands of hair in Bel Air
its all there, bull or bear .....i dont know and i don't care
it aint fair princess superstar make em stop n stare runnin scared
kiss my derriere, on my mirrored chair
(why u got a mirrored chair? )
you can see my ass much better there
to kiss it kiss it |
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| Creative Writing only a week late |
[May. 13th, 2007|09:41 pm] |
Pretend that our society is a physical and tangible object, but other than this newfound body, or host, society has not changed. To say that society has not had a profound impact on everything and everyone that it has come in contact with would be utter folly. This new society still provides the acceptable social norms, forms boundaries and limits for everything, and creates the padding for the box that is our lives. This box is a fragile one; any number of things can smack into it and damage us, the precious cargo. So over time society evolved to become the layers and layers of protection that shields us from becoming exposed to the elements that is life without the preconceptions that society provides for us.
Now when a few members of society miraculously break through into the unknown, the padding is broken apart and they are found rattling around inside their box with little protection from the outside world. And this box, this box that is their life, has changed so drastically in both environment and happenings that it is almost quite like a science fiction novel.
Upon this day a few years in the past, four people, four girls really, found themselves suddenly out of the clutches of society, and simultaneously in a barren world devoid of humans. Upon the realization that society and everything society stood for and did was optional, they created the mental barrier to society and were instantaneously transported to a remote island. This island was both depressing and also a beacon for hope. Not one of the four realized that they were in fact out of the clutches of society on this Island; they didn’t know that this Island would act as a haven for them away from the harmful grasp of society. No, to them it was confusing and dangerous; they all just wanted to know what they had done to get there. To a few of them, it was a sign from God; there was something in their lives that they needed to change. To the other two, they just knew that something was awry and hoped that in time they would figure out what.
Fortunately to them all, three items each were transported with them. On this Island there would be no need for money, food and drink were scavenged from the land, and there was no electricity. Each of them would have to learn to trust each other and themselves to grow and evolve on this Island of Hope. Each of them would have to remain human long enough to realize why they were there, and figure out if they wanted to forsake their newfound freedom for a life governed by other people.
Girl A found herself suddenly on a beach with nothing in sight but tree’s, water, and sand, and three other girls. This beach had none of the usual clues of human inhabitants, there was no footprints, no trash strewn about the beach, and the water was the color that unpolluted water should be. Her feet were being slowly tugged at by waves, and as she looked down to investigate the wetness she spied three familiar objects out of place on a beach that looked like no human being before her had ever set foot. It seemed that her subconscious had found it best to bring with her a book bag filled with fresh drawing paper, colored pencils, and a camera. After she investigated the bag, she spied a small pile of photographs of her family, friends, and pets. As soon as she had gone through the entire stack she spied some of her favorite pieces of jewelry, and hungrily she grasped for each piece and lovingly brushed the sand off of them. She would not have them come so far only to be damaged by seawater and sand so she fastened them all on her body and looked around.
Just as Girl A was doing, Girl B quickly became bored by her surroundings and focused on her small pile of belongings. Before she even really had an opportunity to see what had been brought for her, she gathered everything close to her in an embrace and breathed in deeply the smell of home. Unfortunately for her, these objects had undergone the same long hazardous travel through space and time, and had reverted to their original new state devoid of any familiar scent. Girl B faltered as she realized that the small collection of her past life that she was holding held few memories and were as crisp as the day she had bought them. Gone were the familiar creases in the photographs in her left hand, instead the pictures were almost newly ironed. The people in the pictures smiled back the same as they had the day that the picture had been taken, but Girl B knew that something had indeed changed. In her other hand she had picked up a few pieces of jewelry that were special to her, luckily for her the shirt that she had put on that eventful day had a breast pocket, and these pieces of jewelry pit perfectly there close to her heart. Last but not least she spied a small pile of chalk, and finally she smiled, knowing that all would be right, she could leave her mark on this island, and it might even come in handy for being rescued.
Girl C was just as confused as the other two, but looked longer and harder at the photo album that was foremost in her pile of possessions. She wondered long and hard if she would ever see home, and Boy A again. Her photo album was devoid of sadness but brought tears to her eyes as she searched its pages for a clue concerning how long she would be stuck her, with only Girls A, B, and D for company. When she found no clues hidden in the pages of the photo album she turned next to her stuffed animal, her teddy bear Massimo for comfort. Girl C did quickly pull herself together, and silently thanked her subconscious for bringing with her, her third and final piece of home, a pad of paper and pencils, to entertain her in the long nights that were sure to come.
Girl D took more of an interest in her surroundings than the other three, silently observed the reactions of each of her companions, and finally noticed her own reactions to her predicament. She wasn’t as collected as Girl A, but neither was she as concerned with pecuniary objects such as jewelry as Girl A. Girl D wasn’t as anxious over the familiarity of the objects at her feet as Girl B was, and she didn’t feel the need to leave her mark on the island as Girl B. Girl C was clearly worried about her home life, and the emotion that she was expressing was almost embarrassing to Girl D. But instead of turning her back on Girl C, to worry about her own problems, Girl D moved to the side of Girl C and calmed her, speaking soothing words into her ear all the while searching the faces of the other two girls searching for any sign of malcontent. Girl C calmed in time, and Girl D was able to take a quick inventory of the situation, gather her things and the girls, and suggest the move inland and find a place to spend the night.
They trudged inwards and after only a few minutes found a shelter in the crevice of some rocks hidden in the trees. It wasn’t an enormous cavern with perfect rock cubbies for each of the girls, instead it was a small enclosure big enough for the four girls to lie down in side-by-side, not ideal but life is hardly ideal after all. The Girls quickly established their own spaces within their new home and took inventory of everyone’s stuff. Girl D, it seemed, had subconsciously brought with her blankets, a satchel filled with books, papers, and pens, and photographs of her family and friends. There were four blankets, one for each girl, so everyone was content. Girl B noticed a small stream to the right of the enclosure, so there was water. And Girl A noticed several trees of nuts and fruit along the border of the trees. Girl’s A through C seemed content with staying near the enclosure talking and tidying up, but Girl D had already grown weary of her encumbering partners and established a silent boundary around herself that was both physical and mental within a few hours of her arrival on the island. She saw the girls looked after, fairly happy gabbing away as though it were summer camp, and grabbed her satchel and a blanket. The books were rather heavy, but the stream wasn’t far away. Upon further inspection she came upon a bush of blackberries and sat dangling her feet in the cool water thumbing through the pages of Voltaire, Rowling, Dickens, Bradbury, Churchill, Klasky, Alcott, Tan, Pike, and Bronte. Slowly sucking the juice out of each blackberry Girl D read a little, but mainly pondered her current predicament. Away from the boundaries of society she was free to feel revolted by the human race. Each of the girls was fine by themselves, but already she could tell that as soon as they got together they were nothing but burdensome. But still she could not leave them; there was both nowhere to go and nothing to do. She may be free of society, but she was not free of the strictures of the human race, and among them a conscience that gripped her soul like the tentacles of an octopus. It was entirely possible that her dislike of life had gotten them all there, (another affliction of humanity, conceit was showing itself in her thought process) and it was her responsibility to herself as well as the other girls to see them through it, if she could.
Soon the light began to fade and Girl’s A through C went looking for Girl D. The small gesture of thoughtfulness wasn’t lost on Girl D; she didn’t mistake the looks of concern on their faces for greed, and welcomed herself into the society of wanderers more completely than she would have if they were back at home. Her hours of solitude left her feeling whole and complete, she had realized that she wasn’t broken, life hadn’t broken her quite yet, she had just forgotten to take time apart for herself in real life, and this Island of Hope helped her to turn her back on others for an hour or so and regenerate.
So Girl D was rested and relaxed ready to face most of what life and the Island could throw at her. She hadn’t quite grasped why they were all there although she was ready to believe that it was her fault. Her fault or not, Girl D was prepared to help the other girls and allow them the space that they needed to heal themselves, because the wounds that society had inflicted were deep and infected, and the Island of Hope had provided all of the saltwater that could be needed to begin the healing process. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|08:40 pm] |
Apparently at Virginia Tech University, an unidentified person went into a dormitory and killed two people this morning. And then, police are unsure if it was the same person, a man went into a classroom and killed 32 people. And then he shot himself in the face. Apparently this was the worst school related massacre since Columbine.
Just thought you should know. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2007|01:47 pm] |
No go for fun day sunday 2007. I will be about 400 miles away...
fucking early jesus day.
I'll be back Sunday night... when are you two leaving?
xoxoxoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|09:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
oh world. I hate you.
love♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|10:10 pm] |
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I heart you Krystal Johnson ♥ |
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